Thursday, April 15, 2010

Baby Steps, right?

I talked to Career Center Boy(CCB) today. (Please click here if you don't know who I'm talking about.)
There I was, walking through the hallway. He was hotly sitting at his desk, and I thought, "hey! there he is!" I haven't seen him since that first memorable day, and it was quite nice to see him again. He's like a 10, ladies. Seriously. HOT.
As I walked past him, I had a wild thought!!! You see, I had just finished my math homework whilst eating lunch in the Valley View Cafe. (Yum! Best salad bar ever.) And all the pages were loose. I needed a stapler. So......why not ask CCB for a stapler? This is how I pictured it in my head,
Me: "Hey, do you have a stapler I can borrow?"
CCB: "Sure * hotly passes me a stapler*, you know, you look familiar. Were we in a class together last semester?"
Me: "Um, *playing dumb* I don't know, maybe."
CCB: "Huh, It's just you have the most beautiful eyes. I swear I've seen them before."
Me: *Blushing profusely* "Oh, well, haha. Thank you." *Flutters eyelashes for effect.*
CCB: "Say, I'm about to take a lunch break. How would you like to join me?"
Me: "I'd be delighted." *Flash signature smile*

So, no, things didn't go exactly as planned. Here's what really happened,
Me: "Hey, do you have a stapler I can use?"
CCB: "Um, yeah. Here ya go." *Passes me the stapler.*
Me: *Staples paper together* "Thanks."

And then I turned around and walked away. I know. Intense, right??? I mean, wow. Reality is SO much better than my imagination! (Please note that I am using much sarcasm as I type that.)

Why didn't it go like I planned? I have made a list.
1. I didn't wear my hair down today. I look tons better with my hair down. It hides the lack of jaw line...
2. I wore a really cute shirt, but it has kinda puffy sleeves, making my shoulders look broad. Pair that with my hair being pulled back, accentuating my small head.....
3. I'm a loser.
4. All I did was ask for a stapler. I should have made a joke or something.
5. I can't make spur of the moment jokes, which would have helped with #4.
6. He's outta my "attractiveness" league. I mean, this guy should be in a Gap advertisement.

But, after making this list, I've decided the REAL reason things didn't go like I thought, is this:
I'm way too cool for him. He couldn't even BEGIN to handle my coolness. So, he decided not to say anything about my beautiful eyes, because he was to intimidated by the aura of awesomeness that seeps from my every pore.

*Sigh.* Poor guy, I hope he'll recover soon.

Until next time, Peace!


Genevieve and Ryan Davis said...

Oh, come on Dusty! I know you can do better than that, next time you encounter him, you need to at least ask him his name, or start getting some serious career counseling!!! You can do it!

Katherine Loveless said...

Hahahaha. Oh Dug, you're my favorite.

PS, in unrelated news. The word I'm supposed to type in to post a comment is feluaton. It's not a real word, but I kind of want to use it as such. For example: "Oh dug, you're my feluaton!"

Ashley Christensen said...

Yes! 500 Days of Summer moment! (That is the expectations vs. reality part...) These moments are the story of my life.