Random Thoughts During Math Class

(As written by me earlier today in math class, now being typed and spell-checked! Phew!)

-I've already learned something by just writing this title with my mechanical pencil. (Can you believe people still use these things? I remember when they first became popular. But they never compared to the Pog!) Anyway, what I learned is that writing in cursive is a lot easier when using a pen. Yeah, that's right, cursive. I try to practice it sometimes, don't judge! I just want to be accepted.

-I wish my math teacher was my grandpa. Not as in a replacement for my current grandpa (haha, that makes it sound like I go through them every week of so), but just, you know, another one. Its just that he is this little old man who, when you see him walking down the hall, looks at his shoes and his face has the expression that he just witnessed someone kick a puppy.
**whoa, I should have been paying attention just now. Whatever the crap he just wrote on the board makes no sense**
Back to the grandpa thing. I want him to be my grandpa so that it would not be inappropriate for me to give him a hug. He looks like he needs one. :(

-Oh my heck. This girl just asked how this applies to life. 1-could a question be any more cliche? 2-Come on woman, you are older than me and even I've learned that math doesn't apply to ANYTHING! **oh, word problem. I've got to pay attention now.**

-The story problem involves the word potassium. Did you know that if you take the T-A-I-U out of potassium, you get the word possum? This of course reminds me of the Simpsons episode Marge VS. The Monorail. "I call the big one Bitey." Classic.

-Wow, that was a crazy-A word problem. As I said, math doesn't apply to anything!

-Now we are taking a short break. While I sit here, let me ask you a question. Why are the ends of my hair so fuzzy? I looked at them very closely and I don't see a single split end, yet I look like I've stuck my finger in an electrical socket. I even flat ironed it this morning. I guess it's chopping time aye??

-Ugh! I can't believe I wrote and solved that whole problem and it's not even on the homework. Come on! That was an entire sheet of paper I just wasted.

-Problem: Bob is heading west at 50 mph. George is heading east at 70 mph. If they start at the same place, how long until they are 500 miles apart?
Answer: Not Applicable. George was pulled over and arrested for drug possession.

-Oh so much to do today. I have to get home and make refreshments for New Beginnings. Speaking of food, I am such a great cook. I would never presume to be as talented as Robi Porter, or even Bobby Flay, but I can fry some good chicken. I made chicken Alfredo last night, and fried chicken the night before. Both times the meal turned out deliciously superb! Although, chicken is the only meat I'm good at cooking. That and dessert. :)

-Problem: Melissa has two dogs, a cat, and three fish. If one of the dogs eats the cat, how many gallons of paint does Melissa need to paint her house?
Answer: She'll figure it out later. Right now she has to go bail George out of jail.

-So now I am in my British Lit class. Two things happened as I walked through the hallway. 1- I think I spotted the boy who was in my English class last semester. I refer to him as "the boy with beautiful eyebrows." I know, who in the world would be attracted to some one's eyebrows?! But I'm telling ya, every time he walked into class I just wanted to run my fingers over them! (oh my, TMI, I apologize. I should have put: Rated M for suggestive material in my post title.)
2-I saw this other boy who had hair longer, smoother, shinier and altogether better looking than mine. I was tempted to stop and ask for some styling and maintenance tips. Don't worry, I resisted the urge and kept on walking.

(That is all I wrote during my boredom at school. Now, on to current topics.)

I discovered Dark Chocolate Reese's Peanut Butter Cups today. They are amazing. "The darker the chocolate, the richer the taste," as my good friend Seaweed would say. (Ten points to the first person who can tell me what I'm referring to there.)

Ok, so my Betta is dead. I feel so bad you guys. I didn't mean to murder him. It just happened. You know, there are accidental murders all the time! Here is the story. A week ago I decided to put my beta in the same tank as my tiger barb. Not together though, I bought a tank divider (at least a makeshift one) to separate them. Most people think that bettas are really aggressive, but if you do your research, you will find that they are only aggressive towards other male bettas. Tiger barbs however, are nippers. They'll nip any fin that comes in their way. So this is why I used the divider. However, somehow the tiger barb kept getting to the other side. He never harmed the Betta, but I moved him back to his section anyway. Well, Sunday I left for church and I came home and started dinner (the aforementioned fried chicken) and Ken and Les suddenly came up to me and said: You killed your Betta.
I was like: WHAT THE EF????
So I went downstairs to find both fish on their separate sides of the tank, but my betta's fins were GONE!!! COMPLETELY TORN TO SHREDS!!! Oh my heck, I almost started to cry I was so distraught. And I didn't even like the fish that much, but it was still so sad! He just started to lay there on the gravel, struggling to breath. Ugh, my heart is breaking even thinking about it. So I went to my dad and told him the situation. He told me to flush the poor fish. I told him no, because the betta was not dead. But my dad "convinced" me that the betta would die faster if we flushed him. That way he wouldn't be in pain for long. (I still suspect he was just trying to make me feel better.) I couldn't do it though. I didn't want his blood on my hands!! So I told Pop to do it. So he did. Now my betta is dead....or else mutating in the sewer somewhere, growing into a super fish and planning my torture and demise. Either way I'm sleeping good tonight!

One last thing. The UVU salad bar has THE best honey mustard dressing I've ever tasted. Points to you UVU. Points to you.

For now, Peace!!

Always the Optimist (at least for the most part)

Here's a funny story: I tried to write a poem the other day. I try to write poems often, but they always suck. But my Script Writing professor told me that if I was serious about writing, I needed to be writing 5 pages per day. It doesn't matter what really, just so long as you keep your creative juices in a constant flow. I know, impossible right? Anyway, this particular poem I was trying to write was supposed to be sad and depressing. I don't know if you know this, but the only writing that ever means anything to anyone important (you know, the "man") is always about sad things, about struggles and turmoil and horrible crap like that. Earlier that evening, I heard some sad news that put me in a melancholy mood. When I feel melancholy, that's when I most feel like I may be able to write something intriguing. So I sat and began to write. I wrote about the sad things that Time brings, like death, and winter and so on. Then I ended it on a note that makes you say: Oh yeah, that's GOOD stuff right there. So I closed the book (p.s. thank you Ashley for the journal which is now my Doug's Book of Thoughts, Stories & Poetry) and went about doing other things, like cleaning my room. I kept thinking about what I wrote and after looking at a picture of my cute nephew (Thanks Lu for the calendar!), what I wrote started to bug me. "No, Dusty, it's fine. No one is ever going to read it anyway." I told myself. But I couldn't stop thinking about it. It wasn't finished. What was bothering me, was that I had made Time seem like the bad guy. But Time isn't the bad guy at all, so I had to write a whole other verse. Now I was talking about the wonderful things that Time brings, like Spring and babies. Then I did this cool thing where I took a phrase from the sad verse and wrote it again and it took on a whole other meaning! That's when I knew I was finished. :)
That's the thing though. I can never end things on a sad note. It bugs me too much. All my stories are happy. And that, my friends, is why I shall never become a famous writer. Because no one remembers the story when it's about flowers and butterflies and chocolate cake. They only remember the stories about the time those two people decided to kill themselves over what they thought was "love", or the man who slowly goes crazy and evil, or the little orphan boy who can't have a second helping.
But, always the optimist, I can't leave this blog post on a sad note. And telling myself I'm never going to be a great writer is definitely sad.
So I will end with this: There is hope for me to be a great and famous writer! I mean, eighty years from now when I'm dead and gone, someone will find my book of snippets and thoughts and they'll realize that I WAS amazing the whole time, but it just took a while for people to figure it out.
Hahahahahaha! Then I will laugh at the world from my grave!

Until next time! -Peace

Little Jimmy Photo Shoot

So, Lu asked me to take some photos of Baby Paul for a calendar she's working on for a Christmas gift. Here are a few of my favorites. :) I think the ones with him in the tie are absolutely gorgeous...if I'm allowed to brag...but it's not bragging anyway. The subject just happens to be naturally gorgeous.







Oh yeah, Merry Christmas Ya'll. :) -Peace

Pain, Pain Go Away

Today on the Supertastic Show, we are going to be learning about medical stuff. (Lu, after seeing that video you posted on your blog, I thought you'd enjoy the inarticulateness of that sentence.)

As some of you may know, I have back pain. A lot. What is the cause of this back pain you may ask? Well, let me tell you.

I've recently been unable to move (walk, sit, lay [the last two being my favorite pastimes.]) without causing myself much pain and sorrow. So I went and had myself an MRI. This is not the first one I've had. I also had one when I was around 15-16 for similar reasons. What I learned then apparently has not changed much. So, the findings of this MRI were quite similar to my past MRI.

When I was checked for Scoliosis way back in the day, the doctor said I was positive for it. But alas! He was wrong. Upon getting a second opinion, with the help of the super x-ray abilities of the MRI, we learned I actually had what was called Schuermann's Disease. This disease is the deformation of your vertebrae, causing your spine to curve outward.

Here is a handy picture in which I have digitally circled the deformed vertebrae. As you can see, some of the vertebrae are more pie-shaped than square.

So Dusty, is this what causes you so much pain? Why no, it is not, I just thought you might like to know. All I know is that someday this disease may give me a "mighty hump" as Mr. Burns would say.

So what is causing my pain? Well, I have learned (from both MRIs) that I have two herniated discs in my lower back. (Animation pictured below)

Ouch right?? Double ouch! As stated above, I have two herniated discs. One is located on the bottom level of my Lumbar Curve, and the other is the top level of my Sacral Curve. Again, with the wonderful use of modern technology, I have circled in red the area of which I speak.

So, what are my options? Well, one is to just live with it. The herniations are not so bad that they are in danger of causing any neurological problems. So I could just go around walking like my grandpa all the time. But that is no fun. Nor is it attractive, and heaven knows, life is about being attractive.

Another option is a Spinal Injection. They take super long needles and punch it into your spine and fill you will nice Cortisone. No, not like the cream. It's actually an anti-inflammatory medicine that is made from steroids naturally produced by your own body!! Who knew that WE were the cure all along?? This picture below shows one reason why I do NOT want to have this procedure. See that huge needle being punched into that spine?? Yeah, I know.

So the only option left is to take a Medrol Dose Pack. They're oral steroids that I'd have to take for a week or so. This is an option I do not want to choose because of the side affects. One of the major side affects is MOOD SWINGS!! I don't want that. No, not at all. My mother has taken Medrol before and boy, her mood swings were crazy!! Also, this is not a cure, just a temporary solution. The injections would actually last a few months longer. But remember that long needle? Anyway the last side affect that worries me is the whole gaining weight thing. Remember how steroids do that? I don't want to end up looking like this guy.

For now my friends, as I ponder this lose-lose situation, I'll stick with my 500mg Lortab!

Mmmmmm........Lortab........

Well, for now, Peace!

Announcing New Mormon Themed Restaurants

I got this in an email from a friend of mine and found it so funny I wanted to share it! :) Hope you enjoy it too! -Peace

Announced plan to open ! Mormon-themed restaurants

There is an idea floating around Utah, Arizona, Idaho and California for a chain of non-pretentious Mormon-themed restaurants called "The Steak Center" (Where There's Never a Dry, Boring Meating!)

-Each Steak Center will have one enormous dining area with basketball hoops at either end and folding metal chairs and long tables covered in plastic tablecloths.

-The Steak Centers will not have hostesses, but greeters -- men in their seventies will meet you at the door and talk like they have known you all your life.

The main menu items for lunch and dinner will be:

Porterhouse Rockwell Steak

Primary Rib

Poor Wayfaring Pan of Beef

Parsley P. Pratt Funeral Potatoes

Eliza R. Snow crab (in season)

And It Came to Pasta

Kraft MacaMoroni and Cheese.

Breakfast items will include:

Pearls of Great Rice

Frosted Minivans

Adam-ondi-Omelettes

Also available In Our Lovely Desserts:

Fast Sundaes

Gadianton Cobbler

Laman Meringue Pie (just sinful!)

-The waiters will be 12- and 13-year-old boys wearing white shirts and their fathers' ties..

-At the end of the night the customers will be asked to help fold up the chairs and tables and vacuum the floor.

Aunt Doug? Aunt Awesome? I just can't decide.

Paul Royal Nance

Yeah that's right. Mark and Lu are the proud parents, Ma and Pa are the proud grandparents, Ken's the proud Uncle and Les and I are the proud Aunts. :D Isn't he perfect? Yes. That should be your answer. Peace!

Update

Well, things are good. August was a good month. Nothing too exciting happened, at least not that I can remember at this particular time. I helped Mark and Lu move down from Logan. They live in Springville now, which is awesome. Les and I went over there last Saturday and just chilled. It was good times. I'm glad that they're here. I like chillin with the fam.
A few weeks ago I took pictures for an awesome family I know. Sam had just turned 1 and Megan wanted to get some photos snapped. I took some of cute ones of David too. Here are just a few of my favorites.









I started school last week. So far so good. I think I'll really enjoy my classes this semester. My favorite so far is my Old Testament institute class. My teacher is pretty much the best ever. I've been really lucky when it comes to Seminary and Institute teachers. Anyway, the class is awesome. We've only had two lessons, and I've been blown by both. It's a great way to start off the school day.
I am also taking an English 2010 class. My teacher is very much an.....what's the word...intellectual? Maybe that's the word I want to use. I'm not sure. He's super passionate about writing and reading which is awesome, though sometimes a single sentence from him can make me go: "Wha?" And then I feel stupid. But that's nothing new.
Last and I wish least, I'm enrolled in Math 1010. Let's just pray I can make it through. My Professor is definitely cool, and I've actually made friends in the class (Is that the sound of the end of the world I hear?). But math is like death. Inevitable, but not fun.
Leslee's sure had a good month. A while ago she was at work and her back started to hurt. Pretty soon she was walking all distorted. She was like a walking right angle. So over the the hospital she went and had an MRI. What a surprise! She's got degenerative disc disease, inherited lovingly from Mom. :) I think all the kids got it. I was diagnosed when I was like 15. But unfortunately for Les, one of her herniated discs flared up. I've never had that pleasure, but sure am looking forward to it.
So yesterday she had spinal injections. Yikes! I just about pass out at the thought! Mark and I went with my mom once when she was getting injections. The needles they use are insane! But Leslee said it wasn't as bad as she thought. Hopefully it'll help her for a few months at least.
The best part about this past week was I was able to watch Athena! She's just as cute as ever. This time around she wasn't as easy to tend. She didn't like my Mom for some reason and would cry her eyes out every time I left the room. (This filled me with secret joy in knowing that she liked me more than everyone else.) Yesterday, while Les and the parental units were at the hospital, I watched her all by myself. Yep, we could do OK, she and I. I pretty much adore her, and clearly she thinks I'm awesome. It was sad to see her leave again, but I'm just grateful I got to say goodbye this time.
Now it's time to rest my poor body which is sore from carrying her all over the place. Here's to all the mom's who have to do it everyday!! You guys are great.
Also, another cool thing, I'm finally done with Primary! I will be released tomorrow. What's my new calling you ask? I'm the new Beehives advisor! Wahoo! This should be an interesting experience. I've never taught older kids before. They'll probably end up teaching me a few things. :)
That's all that's going on with me. Thanks for stopping by. Peace!